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Name: Ned Taylor
Nickname: Neddie, Scrounging Student
Position: Left Hand Bat

If Ned had both his arms chopped off in a freak studying accident involving a lever arch file and a stapler, he would still be picked in the first team. This is not because of any (alleged) deal struck with the skipper before the season started, but because of Ned's ability to wind up the ex Guiseley model and support teacher, Martin K-K-K-nowles. Currently Menston through and through, Ned is filling in time before his Masters in Development Economics lands him with a top job in Kenya or Nigeria (or some other economic back water). It is thought that said job will come with a polyester uniform and an increasing number of stars on his paper hat depending on how many "Big Matabele" burgers he sells in a week. Despite being our most educated player, Ned usually fails on the word games played during our bouts of fielding because he clearly wants to pretend to be our intellectual superior.
Most likely to say: Do you want to "Go Large" for 30 Nairas (that's Nigerian currency to you and me).
Most likely to do: Sign on.

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