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Name: David Lester
Nickname: Ted
Position: Captain, Right Hand Bat

Name: Michael Bredenkamp
Nickname: Dennis
Position: Right Arm Fast, Right Hand Middle Order Batsman

Ted is rightly known as Mr Menston (not for any reason other than to annoy Thack). Ted has captained the club for longer than I care to remember during which time the club has won knack all and been relegated. Very few people win an argument with Ted, because he doesn't accept posh words or any soundly based comments which are contrary to his own. Even fewer have out-drunk him. Ted's batting has recently been likened to that of Superman, not because of any super-human feats of brilliance, but because he displays a similar level of foot movement to that of Christopher Reeve. Tactically has been likened to David Lloyd, the gym-owning tennis guru that is.
Most likely to say: Now I'm out, I might as well have a quiet couple
Most likely to do: No quick singles

Dennis has been with MCC for three seasons having joined us in our promotion year and having no small measure in our elevation back to where we belong. Since then Dennis has done naff all except complain about his foot marks and worry about what time he can get back to Harrogate for a proper session. Spends much of his time at long leg chuntering to himself about how he's never going to play with us ever again and that we're all a bunch of talentless wasters. Dennis has a brilliant cricketing mind but no long term life-planning skills.
Most likely to say: You've spelt my name wrong (NB I haven't)
Most likely to do: Bowl a full toss and kick sh*t out of his foot holds

Name: Nick Thornton
Nickname: Swinny
Position: Can RH bat anywhere, desperately unkeen back up keeper.

Name: Ian McGargle
Nickname: Gargs
Position: Wicket Keeper, Occasional Right Hand Bat

Swinny has become a fixture in the MCC for the last million seasons. The last member to come up through the ranks, Swinny has been given out against his better judgement in every MCC team, from the under embryos right through the Juniors, the Joe Lumb, Seconds and ultimately the mighty 1st XI. Swinny used to keep wicket as well but managed to win the drinking competition which meant that Teflon McGargle won the gloves again. Nick spends most of his life spotting top cricketing deals on the Internet. If you can buy a bat in Rawcliffes for Ł150, Swinny can buy it for Ł250 plus postage and packing. If only he'd speak to Richard Burton. Burty will buy it for Ł300 as long as you tell him that Steve Waugh tried it out, liked it a lot but couldn't fit it in his cricket bag. Please note strangely normal hair colouring in the picture. This was a photographic effect. Come the season, Swinny's hair will be back to its natural Jaques Villeneuve off-green.
Most likely to say: There was no way I was out lbw
Most likely to do: Complain all night how the ball was going down the leg side

What can I say about Gargs that gives the impression that anyone likes him? Previously good (in his own memory), Gargs continues to disappoint, even at his senior age. Despite his annoying commitment to nets every Tuesday and Thursday and his abstemious hermit-like existence on a Friday night, Gargs is singularly useless on a Saturday and only holds his place in the team because no-one else want to be wicketkeeper and because he remains in charge of the (invisible) fines tin which, although rich in pickings through the season, remains remarkably empty come the fines night. We understand, however, that his new house in Harrogate is coming along quite nicely thank you.
Most likely to say: Do you really need me to play next week?
Most likely to do: Drop every chance and miss every stumping

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